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I feel relief at an insight, an inner sense that
Father-Mother God is showering me with an impalpable sense of Love, that Love
that casteth out fear, that “Thine is the kingdom, the power, the glory, for ever.”
My dim sense of separation is but a passing mortal experience. In a deeper
reality, Love unites. I and my loved ones are not separated from that Love.
"Love’s work and Love must fit."
The problem
started because I was experiencing feeling immensely sad due to a gulf of
separation I experience with loved ones. The more I know God (in CS), the more
I seek to express purity in my life (therefore leaving alcohol, drug,
limitations of many kinds behind). As I push past the resistance those
limitations impose on me, and therefore push past tribal behaviors, customs and
habits, I create a seeming distance between myself and the limiting behaviors
my loved ones still choose to carry on, and likewise, they create a distance
between those limiting thought patterns I choose to keep and those they choose
to leave for higher ones, too.
For example, the
product of a divorce between my parents has left me feeling like I am the
caretaker for my mother’s feelings of rejection. My sisters aren’t
feeling obligated to take care of my mother’s feelings and failed dreams
resulting from her joint inability with my father to keep their marriage alive
and successful. I just realized their failure isn’t my fault and I’m not
responsible to repair the damage they have caused in themselves.
Luke 12:53 comes
to mind: “The father shall be divided against the son, and the son
against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against
the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in
law against her mother in law.” “The encounter with Christ [CS “Christ. the divine manifestation of God,
which comes to the flesh to destroy incarnate error”] brings a crisis; the response of faith
creates a division within the people.”
I learned about
myself that God has indeed given me “the gift of mercy” (Romans 12:6-8), as
described on Charles Stanley’s InTouch Ministries’s Life Principles Notes
(ww2.intouch.org): I fit all the 14 characteristics of it. I very
much feel the emotional energy around me. I am attracted to people who
experience emotional pain to help them through it. I am driven to remove
the pain in others. I tend to react harshly when others reject
others. I am loyal and devoted to those whom I feel led to love. I
commit to a few deep friendships. I am very sensitive to others and feel
harshly toward those who are insensitive. I need a very deep level of
commitment in my relationships and feel dejected when that depth is not met by
others. As it states in the Notes, as a result, my meekness can turn to
anger.
I believe that
Father-Mother God sent me this teaching to know myself better. There is a
variety of gifts. His gifts are all good. I know, because I know
that He is God, that He harmonizes all His Gifts because He is unity. His
Gifts cannot be in inharmony, that is impossible, because God is omnipresent,
omniscient, omnipotent. Knowing that, my sense of separation from Good
appears to me clearly to be an illusion—an illusion brought on by my mortal,
limited sense of things. It comes to me then to trust that I am now
waking up to the Truth that God is Unity and that that fact is true right
now. I can know that my mother can carry on without me. I can know
that my father needs not feel betrayed because my learning seems to have
brought me to a different space. As I know these things to be true, I also know
that because God is, my mortal beliefs were never true. God is never
untrue, never was, and never will be.
As I have said
before, the gift of mercy makes me extremely sensitive to others’ pain,
including strangers I have never even met or some I barely even know.
With this treatment, I also affirm the truth about God’s omnipresent harmony
applies to the situation for Jill Carol.
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