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| Friday, September 30, 2005 |
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Update
By Frank Sanders @ 2:26 PM
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Thursday 8th September, 2005
at 16:02 GMT by fsanders
This testimony glorifies that God is right here, already within our
thought. We don't have to stop, sit down, and find a relevant passage
to read to realize God is already with us. This passage helped me focus
on God, the good that God is pouring out to us.
Luke
17:20,21 And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of
God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh
not with
observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.
This
particular week I had many things to do, to cover, to prepare. There
were issues about others around me that tried to distract my attention
from God. Through remembering and focusing on this passage and the
omnipresence of God, I received the inspiration, strength, and support
to accomplish what I needed to.
_________________
"The World Is Not Enough"
This testimony glorifies that only God can satisfy our every need.
Haggai
1:6,7 Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not
enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but
there is none warm; and he that earneth wages, earneth wages to put it
into a bag with holes. Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your
ways.
After reading my scripture for this week, I couldn't
help but think about the movie, "Pirates of The Caribbean." In the
movie, the pirates were cursed because they had stolen gold coins from
the treasure of Cortez. The curse was made manifest through insatiable
appetites. The pirates would eat but always be hungry, they would drink
but their thirst was never quenched. The only way that they could end
the curse was by returning every coin they had stolen.
As I
prayed about this scripture, I could see how seeking the treasure of
this world (success, money, possessions, etc.) is just like living
under the curse of the pirates. The more of this world that you grab
for yourself, the more empty you feel.
In my life, I have run
after (and gotten) successful careers, big beautiful houses, boats,
cars, clothes, money and the list goes on, yet, it was never enough.
There were always nicer houses, bigger boats, newer cars, and more
money to go after. Last year, everything that I had grabbed for myself
was put into jeopardy through divorce and unemployment. I was faced
with a choice: try to grab it all back, or let go and let God provide.
I chose to let God provide. However, to live with that choice, I had to
spend time building a stronger relationship with Him. My faith and
trust in God has been challenged every single day which makes me grab
on tighter to Him. As I loose my grasp on earthly possessions, I
strengthen my grasp on God's guiding arm. I lean heavily on Him and He
has provided every need that has come up in the last year.
But,
best of all, I received an unexpected blessing from this experience. I
feel a lot less needy! This brings me back to the pirates curse. By
turning my worldly possessions back to the world that they came from, I
have broken out of the curse. I now eat and drink what God provides and
I feel full. I wear the clothes that God provides and feel satisfied. I
do the work that God presents and feel fulfilled. I live in God’s house
and feel secure. I have considered my ways and have no regrets. I trust
in His promise, "I am with you alway," and know that it is true.
Wednesday 7th September, 2005
at 09:36 GMT by fsanders
Editor's note: Although this testimony does not follow the Inreach
format and is not based on a specific Scripture, I felt it needed to be
included. It comes from the heart and expresses a growing commitment to
Father.
All
my life I’ve been told I’m beautiful, physically, and desirable. The
word is sexy. While I never felt beautiful on the inside I found it
easier to make sex a substitute for the love I didn’t feel for myself,
but needed to feel from others. Along with that was the need for
alcohol to lose the inhibition, the discriminating taste and moral
credo I knew to be better for me, for my family, for societal
stability. Forays into promiscuity and drunkenness were my modus
operandi for far too many years.
I began drinking just to escape
from everything. Anything would trigger me to decide I’d had enough of
whatever and pour the magic potion that would take it all away. Two
alcoholic withdrawal seizures later, during which I should have died, I
knew it was time to try and put into action all I’d known as Truth,
since I was a little girl. I became afraid of being sober, but more
afraid of not being able to survive my next drunk. So I abstained. And
I studied.
More importantly, I began to try and use what I
studied. This is the hard part. I had help in how to think, but no one
can help employ what is learned and translate it into real life, day by
day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I had to do it myself.
I’d
had a passionate relationship for 3-4 years with a man I simply adored.
Nothing was “normal,” as we live geographically far apart, so our time
together was always intense and sensual. In those years I’d never been
in his home, nor he in mine. For the first time I had the opportunity
to visit him in his home because my son had an athletic event close by
him. I’m a single parent, but had never included my child in any of my
extra-curricular activities.
Excited plans were made. Meanwhile
I prayed as I had never prayed before, but knew that everything about
the relationship was not based on Love. Coincidentally (are there ever
really any coincidences?) the weekly Bible Lesson was about Soul and
how the senses of mortal mind and body are in opposition to the real
senses of Soul. I knew this, but didn’t want to lose the relationship.
Fear vs. love. Oh, my. I was uncovering some of the sensitive and
terror-laden mortal mind beliefs that made me what I was, or had been.
What would be left of “me?”
“I’m not going there” is one of my
favorite long time strategies. Pain gets too close and I wouldn’t go
there. I’d find a diversion, often booze.
Meanwhile, real life
demanded my participation. I had to start using what I intellectually
accepted. The pain of putting a long-beloved pet to sleep required me
to love her unconditionally, thank her for all her wondrous qualities,
see her as an idea of God, and ultimately hold her paw as she went
quietly on. The fear of insisting on an exemption from vaccination for
hepatitis for my son came from the fact that the Navajos do not like
Anglos rearing their children, and I didn’t want to draw attention to
us. Prayer (fear vs. love work) led me to do what Caesar required. I
got the exemption, not the shot.
Miraculous, so called, things
began to happen. Parking spaces, library fine waived, veterinarian’s
bill substantially reduced- - the urge to drink suddenly interrupted by
healings! Energy came from the working out of some long unresolved
problems.
Back at the starting point of my work, the
relationship ended quietly, without rancor. Not one unpleasant word
needed to be said, as it seemed to be mutually recognized that it was
not a relationship worth pursuing, him for reasons different from mine,
but my child, my “hearth,” became all the comfort I needed for the
moment. And joyously so!
I’ve been writing this for several
weeks, but today I read the passage that sums it up: “Sensualism is not
bliss, but bondage.” (Eddy, Mary Baker, Science and Health with Key To
The Scriptures, p.337:7)
Amen. |
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